A Captains Rant

Woodside Warriors
CONSPIRACY UNCOVERED
On the subject of batting figures it has to be said Tom should now be banned from scoring. I do realize that this is his ONLY useful role in the team but I fear a sinister reason behind his normal tight fisted self. If I remember last year a certain Polish team member (not naming anyone in particular) was publicly humiliated for his batting performance. His retort was he was in for his wicket keeping !!!!!!!!!
After a brief visit to the crease last night, captain Kunz could only console himself with the fact that he at least managed to reach double figures. However after glancing at the scorebook he noticed that ex-vice captain Dziedzic had him down for a poultry 7 instead of a magnificent 11 (off 12 balls). His two superb boundaries rapturously applauded by both sides suddenly appeared as one. Let me run you through those majestic strokes; 1- a belting drive to mid on between two fine fielders (ok they were worse than Nick's dives but that's beside the point)2 - an audacious knock to square met by a victorious thud of the quality corrugated iron that marks the distant boundary.
So Sherlock where has these 4 runs disappeared to ?
Mr BAINES chief investigator please leave no children's witch like character unturned !
Ps I don't also want any derogatory comments made comparing me to a Ste Stead like mentality as I didn't awaken at 2 in the morning thinking about this - it was more like 3am.