WEE TIMOROUS BEASTIES

Tonights match against Harden has also been called off, because they 'can't raise a full team'. Cricket speak for 'we're scared of being thrashed by a bunch of part-timers'.
Cowards.

Last weeks return match with High Royds was rained off.
But no-one let me know though...

I missed the last match against BRI. All I know is we won again, and Captain Kunz's bowling was crap.

Your dead yer gobshite....

After our magnificent almighty defeat of that bunch of cowboys, known as Riddlesden 1st, at last Woodside Warriors are on the map and has the whole world kaking themselves. Under the magnificent leadership of wicket keeper come vice captain come mighty batsman, TOM THE INVINCIBLE. With a little help from the rest of the team, we have shown what dedication, hard work, and sportsman-ship can do for a bunch of shit no-hopers, and losers. I have sweated blood and tears for this team and what thanks do I get....NONE!. i would just like to say what an honour it has been playing with you this season lads, but it hasn't and I would be a lying git to say that. There has not been much mention of the chuckle brothers Steve and Graham Stead, but as they showed with that comical piece of fielding falling over each other it must be said their antics have given the whole team one hell of a giggle this season.

Riddlers become Jokers

'I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,
Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry 'God for Harry, England, and Saint George!'

History was written last night when the mighty warriors humbled Riddlesden C.C.'s FIRST TEAM in a dramatic 23 over encounter.

Following some mighty nurdling and lucky boundaries from Tom and some big innings from Gangas, Ste and Paxy, Woodside built a respectable score of 150.

Captain Kunz then proved his consistant comic credentials by producing the most pathetic flim-flam defensive stroke ever seen. A cross between ballet, fly-swatting, Julian Clarey and Norman Wisdom. TINNING IT ON A BIG SCALE. Jaxy nearly had a hernia laughing at the ginger clown.

Unusually, Paxy's opening overs were to be honest, crap, but 'noodle' Jim steadied the ship with tight bowling and finished with a dramatic catch by Ste Stead to get their star man out.

Our star bowler, widescreen 'Ratboy' Dale, borrowed from Riddlesden, got 2 wickets,and then proclaimed 'I never want to play for that useless bunch of inbred tosspots again, I'm a warrior till the day I die'.This is a lie of course.

The Riddlers then chased the warriors score but were found wanting at every turn and ended up being thrashed by over one run.

The biggest miracle of the day however, occured when captain Kunz, drunk on success, bought the whole team a pie and a pint. This might have been guilt for running John Kenny out though.

Other miracles included Kunz bowling only one wide,(mind you he said he'd go the whole season without bowling one), and Tom catching another.

What next? Wraggy apologising for his immature rattle-throwing behaviour of last year? Maybe not...

The mighty warriors continue their strong start to the season by skillfully having a potentially tricky fixture rained off.

Minutes after the decision was made, the skies cleared like normal.
The decision made by Captain Kunz allowed him to go another match without bowling a wide.

Next fixture is at Riddlesden on the 9th of June.