Kylie writes
Being an Australian and a regular visitor to the uk , i obviously miss my quality cricket. Acting on impulse i decided to choose a game at random and visited 'the almighty woodside warriors' verses another team nobody had heard of. I was not dissappointed ! After some woeful fielding the game seemed to turn when a good looking lad reluctantly was forced to bowl. This, even in my eyes seemed strange. The previous bowlers apparently 'good ones' ,according to a couple of gay and camp onlookers, were being dispatched to all four corners of the ground.
However this fellow seemed to produce unplayable flippers that simply, the international batsmen had no answer to. Especially the first ball was so good I thought the umpire was about to outstretch his arms to applaud.
Anyway after this chaps two (almost maidens) overs the woodsiders required a masssive 148 off 18 overs-surely not even my home nation could achieve this total .
The WOODSIDERS got off to a blistering start with a few retirements but then wickets fell and the unbeaten run spanning many many months seemed to be ready to fall(esp when somebody known as jaxy started 'to do a tom'-i dont know what this meant but i guessed it was gay talk). Then to my astonishment, the good looking chap ,whom by now i had discovered was called captain Kunz came in to bat like a last action hero.Swishing the bat around with finess and malice he (and perhaps i sould mention the other batter who looked like the captain's older brother, who made up that unformidable batting partnership) made light of the world x1 bowlers and hence the woodsiders won by a comfortable two overs. To make this achievement even more remarkable the last few overs were played in near starlighted conditions.
Who was this good looking all rounder ? Why did any referance of him on the club web site seem to ridicule his fine talents on the pitch and incredulous efforts off it. All I can think of , is, it must be professional admiration manefesting itself as jealously.
Anyway i was so inspired by him i decided to check out his performance in the bedroom department and believe me he was no slouch (unlike those Stead brothers-Ive heard so much about) so i decided to name one of my songs after him 'Ginger love cream'.
Anyway boys i must get back to my world tour ,so all the best,
love
KYLIE MINOGUE
