Generous Sponsors Make Another Donation

Steve Stead, Managing Director of club sponsors JW Stead proudly unveils Woodside's no expense spared new scoreboard.

Created in a joint venture between RBG Consulting Ltd and J W Stead, the scoreboard represents a great leap forward for the club. Chief design guru on the project, Jim Stead said 'we could have gone for a super-hi-tech, prologic digital model, but that would have been beyond Tom's fragile mind'.

Nutty proffessor Richard Greenwood said 'Jim has taken my fag packet calculations and created a scoring masterpiece'. 'I made lots of 1's for the board just in case Tom or Baines are batting', he went on.

Captain Kunz was asked to comment but he wasn't allowed.

THE PASSION AND THE PAIN

Ste Stead unveils his rather nasty injury yesterday to stunned onlookers. The injury, received via a bodyline ball from Airedale, was described by a doctor as 'a bruise'.



Stead said,'These are the kind of things you have to go through to get in the Warriors team, if your wife lets you.....'. 'I could have done a Baines style nurdle, but instead I got stuck in'.

Trecherous Blighter Changes Sides

Such was the manner of the Warriors victory yesterday, that Airedale's border collie (probably called Judas), changed teams and ran off with the ball allowing Baines a few more runs.

CAPTAIN'S DISAPPEARANCE HELPS TEAM

Captain Kunz (pictured left), bravely abandoned his 8 man plus one paraplegic team to what should have been a kicking by fierce rivals Airedale General Hospital.

AGH batted very well and despite good bowling from Baines, got a large total of 132 for the Warriors to aim at.

The fearsome, never-say-die attitude of the Warriors could not be quelled however, and the band of journeymen, crocks and misfits put their lack of numbers behind them and focused on the positive....no Kunz.

Without the ginger ones drag factor, Woodside produced one of their best ever batting performances and cruised past AGH with 5 overs to spare. All batters, Gary, Bryan, Gangas, Steve, John, Baines and even Johnny (yes Johnny), produced the goods in a near faultless display of explosive batting.

Nobody mentioned the reason for Mr K's no show, and no-one laughed about it all evening, at all.

"The great spineless, girls blouse!", nobody said.

Hart-broken-lington

The terrifiyingly good warriors had another crushing victory over Hartlington yesterday.

The warriors decided to bat first for the first time since 1932 and knocked up a momentus 145 following great innings by Tim (34 n.o.), Baines (26 n.o.) and the increasingly erratic Jim Stead (31 n.o.).

The day did not start off well however with Tom getting injured in practice(pictured). The knee injury obviously didnt affect his game though, as he continued to bat like a 4 year old poking dog-toffee with a twig. He got about 4.

Following all round consistent bowling, the warriors held Hartlington to a mere 99, nearly half a ton short.

The innings ended with an uncharacteristic catch by wicketkeeper Tom. It's believed that he only held it because it landed in his hands as he had previously put down 20 dolly drops.

Kunz forgot the bag again, but got a wicket.

That Tom-Kunz Run Out

Captains earn their keep for the first time in 18 years with a spectacular run out. Their batsmen was thus consigned to a Diamond duck, a lot worst than Jim's Golden one that everyone forgot, no doubt.

Special thanks to George Lucas for the state of the art graphics.

Excitement All The Way With 'Golden' Jim Stead

Warriors again crushed Riddlesden last night with cunning bowling, crunching batting, accurate fielding and Jim Stead's 'wayward' batting (pictured).

Riddlesden were limited to 105 runs after several quality bowling performances, and some unusually accurate fielding by Kunz (yes Kunz) and Tom (yes Tom) who run some guy for a diamond duck.

Batting started well with Gangas ruthlessly crushing an 8 years old's dreams with boundary after boundary.

Nick took pity on the young lad, bravely allowing himself to be bowled in the most embarrassing fashion.

Ringer Tim tonked a decent few more runs and eventually retired with Gangas on 25.

After much Baines/Ste Stead nurdling, Jim Stead came on for a typically exciting blink-of-an-eye innings (pictured left).

By the end however Ste Stead's lucky bat carried us to victory after extended nurdling.

FEARSOME PACE ATTACK DOES NOT SCARE WARRIORS

Riddlesden's fearsome pace attack (pictured below) psyched out opening batsmen Nick causing him to be the first warrior ever to wear a helmet (pictured left again).

...and yea, blessed art thou Excalibur

Ste Stead's magical bat gets even more runs.

As used by Jacques Kallis

* Hand Crafted English Willow - hand selected English willow is traditionally crafted to produce the industry's leading bats

*proven to be lucky

*can nurdle

* Makes even donkeys look half decent.

Lothersdale Lathered

The funkadelic warriors stormed to victory yesterday after a fantastic batting triumvirate of Stead, Stead and Kenny. Jim thwacked his way to a mighty 25 unbeaten, Kenny romped to a fast 20 and Ste Stead wrapped up the innings with an unbeaten 20.

All three batsmen used Ste's new Excalibur to cruise past Lothersdale's 85 total.

Lothersdales batting preformance stuttered with a fine 3 wicket haul from John Morris, and an extremely interesting over from JK which contained full tosses, wickets and a nasty injury to someones lip (pictured above).

Also full respect must be given to a man who gets a lot of stick but produced a quality preformance yesterday...


...an injured Tom Dziedzic.


Kunz also helped with his bowling.

More photos from Tong Park

Kunz, Ste Stead and an unfortunate supporter yesterday

Victory Marred by self-mutilation

Woodsides opening victory at their new home ground was spoiled yesterday as several people watching the match gnawed their own feet off as a reaction to Baines' diabolically dull innings.

After a mediocre bowling effort, (only one wicket taken by Steve, but a suprisingly decent effort from Captain Marvel), Woodside went in to bat needing 84 runs. Steve Stead knocked a resilliant 25 before retiring to give himself the man of the match award.

Runs and wickets continued to climb until Baines came to the crease. Unfortunately, what happened next is sketchy as few remained awake to see the close of the match such was the turgidity of Baines' batting.

On a brighter note Mr Guiseppe Pamplemousse thanked Mr Baines for finally curing his insomnia.

BAINES TO THE RESCUE

Gary Baines held his nerve in the fading 'bright sunshine' to overcome a batting collapse, and only Tom Dziedzic to come in, and steer the Warriors to there first victory of the season. After a sudden collapse of the middle order, Baines was sent in
to partner his captain( and hero) Richard Kunz, determined to see it through to the end, so that they would'nt have to rely
on dot,dot , one Dziedzic. Refusing to hit anything that could have caused his downfall, he let Kunz score the winning runs
as only a captain should. It was an innings of great strength and doggedness, due to the hostile nature of the crowd, baying
for his wicket.